Because if I had one, I would know, he wasn't "the one" because I know who "the one" is. He's the one after zero, but before second best. Sometimes I get lonely, sometimes I am surrounded by many wavelengths of love from my friends. In the end, I guess I could say that it all balances out. We're all just living on one giant scale, aren't we?
Many things have been lingering on my mind lately. Some good, some great, others bothering. My days run short, my nights go endless. Each moment is unforgettable, just as he is becoming. We've been officially dating for a little over a month now. In all reality, it's not a long time, not in the slightest. Time is beautiful though. I look forward to every moment spent with him. Every kiss is golden. We're so much alike, yet drastically different at the same time. We make each other mad and we drive each other crazy. He's becoming my best friend. I could see us going far in this world. I come off a bit strong, but his kiss is even stronger. Our hearts beat as one. Ups and downs, twists and turns, I want to experience it all with him. He doesn't have the sweetest choice of words, and my presence is venom. I love him, I love us. On another note, the issue between Will.I.Am and Perez Hilton really fired up some thoughts. If you're not aware of what happened, I will briefly explain (click here). Perez and Will.I.Am had a nasty confrontation, nasty words exchanged, and blood shed. I've loved Perez Hilton ever since I've first starting reading his blog, over a year ago. He's funny, original, and brutally honest. I've never liked the Black Eyed Peas, not in the slightest. Their music is repetitive, bland, and overall, just annoying. Stacy "Fergie" Ferguson is not a talented vocalist.The beats are nothing special, and anyone could make up similar "music" using electronic keyboards and Mixcraft. Despite my personal opinion of the two parties involved, they both pissed me off to an extent. Mainly Will.I.Am. Mr. I.Am followed Perez around, as if he wanted a confrontation. He repeadily harassed Mr. Hilton, refusing to drop the subject at hand. Given, Perez does say some harsh things on his blog, it's no reason to harass the man. It's what he does for a living, how he makes money. People say harsh things on internet blogs all of the time. It's really not a big deal, it's the internet. There are more serious things in the world. Will. I. Am had NO right to have his manager hit Perez. This manager, who is supposed to be a professional, should have been arrested. If you are a professional person, well, if you are any person, you have no right to harm anybody else over petty words thrown back and forth. I used to be like that when I was in high school, and I look back at it now and feel like a complete moron. It's ridiculously childish. Even for a high school student. As for Perez, he was in the wrong for calling Will.I.Am a "faggot"...especially since Perez is a homosexual. It's not only hypocritical, it's offensive to the GLT community. In my opinion, the word "faggot" is more offensive than the "N" word. Even if you are gay, you have no right to call anybody that name in such an offensive matter, especially after all of the gay right activism that you've done. Speaking of hypocrites, you're probably one. Everyone and their mother was making Michael Jackson jokes for the longest time. Everyone knew he was a pedophile. I haven't met anyone who has thought differently. Seriously, everyone thought he was a creepy asshole. Don't lie, you were laughing at that one South Park episode with him in it.
Now all of a sudden since he died, everyone is all like "OMG HE WAS AMAZING"..Okay, you fucking hypocrite. I know it's sad, he was a human being, his whole situation was sad, I've always felt kind of sorry for the weirdo. You aren't sad because he's dead though, you're still making jokes. I make them. Then again, I've never liked him, at all. So why do you all of a sudden? Is it a trend? When a celebritard dies everyone obsesses and acts like they were a God. Thriller is a shitty song, and Beat It is only ok because Fall Out Boy remade it.
Other than that, I hate his music, and his dancing was lame. His plastic surgery was the worst that I've ever seen in my life, and the man was straight up creepy. I am not devastated by his death, I did not know him, nor was a fan. He is not the king of pop. There are no king and queens of genres, that's stupid. If I feel any kind of sadness for anyone, it would be for his children. Not only for the ridicule and jokes that they will have to deal with in the future, but because they lost their father. A mother and father are the two most important people in a child's life, sometimes more so than the other. But never the less, nobody experiences a love like they hold for their parents. Celebritards are dropping left and right, there must be something in the water in L.A. The last thing on my mind, is people who don't do anything with their lives because they think it is impossible. I've come to realize, nobody is responsible for your fuck ups except for you. You chose to quit every job that you've lost, or else you've given them a reason to fire you. You chose to drink that alcohol, you chose to drive that car. You chose to mess up living arrangements, you've chose to abuse what people have given to you. When things seem impossible, they really aren't. I've learned to just take it in baby steps, don't think too big. One thing at a time. There is no reason for some people to not have jobs. I know it takes a while, but a while is way past due. There is no reason why twenty something year olds should be without a high school diploma or GED. I don't understand how people can just go from place to place, from party to party. I'm glad I didn't succumb to it, I was getting a taste of it for a long while. It wasn't me. I've been sober for about 2 months now. I work hard, pay my debts, and still manage to have a great time with my friends. I don't have the world in my hands yet, but I'm getting there. I'm working on my debts for now, next step is getting a car. This won't happen right away. I have a game plan. Life is fucking beautiful. Love is beautiful. So love your fucking life. Here's to the mmrs, here's to the future, heartbreak, tragedy, success, and happiness, this one's to you.
xoxo
Then.
Now.
I regret nothing and live love for tomorrow. Live.Love.Grow.
Not just because of his pretty blue eyes but because of how he acts and treats me. Up until recently, I was a pretty shallow girl. I've come to learn that being shallow leads to nothing but assholes and heart break. So what, I'm dating a "nerd"... I can honestly say that the last 2 weeks that I have spent with him, have been some of the best of my life. Sure, we mostly hang around a convenience store all night, but just him coming in and putting his arm around me for hours at a time makes me feel like I'm worth something. It makes me feel wanted.
So, while you are with your heart throb boy toys who never call you, or put you second, I'll be with my cutie pie boyfriend who treats me like a princess.
